Sunday, November 22, 2009
Stop this Train...
"Stop this train! I wanna get off!"
Those words have moved through my mind for months now...
Life is moving at the speed of life, and me, the girl who can take care of it all, has been reduced to...
A passive observer.
I've almost gotten accustomed to that role...
Seriously.
In the last few months, I have become the guru of "Life is What Happens When You're Busy Living It"...
Doesn't matter.
I still hate it.
Stop this train.
I want to get off.
I want to enjoy every second of it...
Each look...
Each sound...
Each touch...
Today, I want time to stand still.
I want all movement to stop.
I want all past arguments...
All past transgressions...
To be gone.
Today, I realize what is important.
Won't someone stop this train?
I am only good at being young...
Nothing else...
This world is demanding more of me that I can give...
I am tired.
Won't someone stop this train?
I want to get off.
And, go home again...
Home...
Where my mother is well and good...
Where my dad is full of enlightenment and can handle anything that comes my way...
Home.
It makes me sad to realize "home" is no longer there.
"Home" is, now days, found in this rented house that I HATE...
"Home" is forever transformed and will NEVER be the same again...
Stop this train.
I want to get off.
And, go home again.
Won't someone stop this train?
A new chapter begins, and yet...
I'm not fully finished with the last chapter...
I've had no time to digest...
To discipher...
To accept...
The next curve ball.
Please.
Won't someone stop this train?
I want to get off.
And, go home again.
I'm only good at being young.
Seriously.
That's my only talent...
And, it's getting farther in the distance...
With every day.
Won't someone stop this train?
I wait on the day that it feels like it should.
Until then, I am begging you, anyone, to, please...
Stop this train.
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Oh my how I know the feeling, each month flies by faster than the one before it did. I'm working way to many hours... and this is life.
ReplyDeleteLet me know if you find a way to atleast slow the train down a bit!
I am so happy that I have found your writings and thoughts again after missing your blogs elsewhere.............
ReplyDeleteThis has me tearing and can so relate in my own life story.....at least....slow this train down and stop this train more often so I have the opportunity to feel these emotions again and again....life happens too quickly and slips between my fingers just to fast.......
Yes, I agree, at least slow the train down a bit, in fact slower than quite a bit!!!!!
Jane .... Ohio....FB and Myspace...........
Huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I think we can all relate to this beautiful and poetic piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteWow. Especially this day....this month....this year. There is only one way. Most don't have the strength. Take your loved ones hands in yours...and fling yourself from the train.
ReplyDeleteYou will land in grass. There will be rocks too--that scrape the skin and leave blood....but there is freedom there next to the tracks.
Every time you say "no," you open a window of time. Many will never understand and therefore never loved you. Some will be offended....but the train will never stop. You must choose to jump. The price is high.
I will cheer for you.