Shine On, You Crazy Diamond...

As I begin to type this post, I have to laugh.

My laughter is mainly because I know which of you are wondering if it is you I refer to as a "crazy diamond".

Let me assure you, if you THINK this is for you...

It probably is.

I have loved you...

I do love you...

And, your light continues to shine.

You may no longer be here...

Either by choice, or by circumstance, but YOU, and you ALONE...

Are my crazy diamond.

Those of you that are still here...

Those that have never left...

Let's get real...

You are here ONLY because, indeed, you are...

A crazy diamond.

Crazy attracts crazy, right?

And, to me, it does not matter.

I love you...

I have loved you...

For the individual that you are.

For the individual that you were...

And, in your absence have proven to me...

That you still are...

A crazy diamond.

It's a crazy world we live in, people.

A world none of us, back in our youth ever expected to know...

A world where we know one another better than those in our "real life" will EVER know.

And, yet, we have never met.

Face to face.

The fact is, we probably never will.

And, yet, the loss of one of our own can unite us;

Bond us together in grief no on else can understand;

THIS is our community.

I remember my most favorite of all crazy diamonds...

And, as for as long as I live...

And walk this earth...

His diamond shines.

That light will NEVER dim...

As long as there is breath in me.

Today, I am thinking of the other "third" and "fourth" of "us"...

Two other beautiful, crazy diamonds.

I am in awe when I look back and think, "They are all I have left."

All I have left in this world that, four years ago was foreign to me.

But, somehow, the four of us connected...

In a way I think no one else can understand.

My crazy diamonds.

That still "get" me...

That understand...

That defend...

When even I don't want to anymore.

It surprised me today when I felt so all alone and realized it was in my virtual world that I felt alone...

Abandoned...

Totally alone.

Today, for the first time, I realized I no longer have his protection with me...

Today, for the first time, I was really scared.

Today, for the first time, I realized...

Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself...

That...

He left me with an arsenal.

There are three of us "originals" left...

HOWEVER...

He left us with a HUGE SUPPLY...

Of those he knew would love us...

Accept us...

Protect us...

When no one else would.

He gave us an entire, immeasurable count of...

Crazy diamonds.

I promise I will continue to shine.

As long as all of you promise to continue to shine...

You crazy diamonds.