A Long December...

Oh, man, it's getting that time of year...

I've seen in on my street; in my neighborhood; in my town...

I've even seen it on Facebook.

People are decorating trees and houses and wrapping gifts...

All in anticipation of the 25th of December.

And, for me, it's a long December.

I fain excitement for those around me all wrapped up in the spirit of the season, but inside, where that spirit is supposed to dwell...

I dread.

I dread every second of it.

You show me pictures of your tree with gifts overflowing, and I think of mine...

All those years ago...

Five years ago, you'd have found my house aglow in the haze of clear lights and a tree that could rival ANYTHING you could find in ANY store...

And, I ain't kidding...

This girl can decorate like you've never seen.

Although, if you come to my house this year, I'd be hard pressed to prove it with the one poinsettia on the porch.

The pictures of gifts to overflowing make me sad, because a few years ago, I had a HUGE extended family to exchange with on Christmas Eve, and it is now limited to...

My two children.

They don't know it.

I never let it show...

But I LONG for Christmas Past...

When I had a houseful of kids and hope and excitement.

Where, on that ONE magical day, ANYTHING seemed possible..

And, even as an adult, I BELIEVED.

So, I've made an effort...

All traditions for Christmas have changed...

All my "single" friends come over on Christmas Eve and we have a gumbo and some laughs...

Christmas morning is STILL for my kids.

Kelsie still spends the night, although she and Camron have gotten too big to share a bed...

I still go jump on them about 4 a.m. on Christmas morning with the exclamation, "Get up! I don't know how you did it, but SANTA CAME TO SEE YOU! HURRY!"

And, they fake their disbelief that he still comes to see them...

They rise...

Wipe the sleep from their eyes...

And walk into the living room in "amazement" that, even though they didn't write to him this year, he knew EXACTLY what they wanted.

And, it is in those few hours with them, the two people on earth that have the power to pull me from my own darkness, I realize...

The true meaning of the season.

It's about family...

It's about food...

It's about laughter...

It's about faith.

Faith that the THIS year...

Might be better than the last.

Ah, yes, it is, indeed, a long December...

But once you get there, you wonder why you dreaded its arrival.

Life is beautiful.

Life is what you make it...

Even if it is a long December.