Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Find Your Wings...



Tomorrow morning at approximately 5:59 a.m., I will walk up the stairs, turn on the upstairs hall light, open his door, peek into his room, and for the last time, I will say, "6 o'clock, baby. Time to wake up. You have to go to school."

That thought has been swirling through my mind all day today, and I'm not sure which is more bittersweet to me...

The first time I ever uttered those words, as I planned to release my baby on a world far bigger than he...

Or the last time I'll ever utter those words, as I release my baby on a world far bigger than he.

The baby boy who was placed into my arms all those years ago; a head full of jet black hair, filled with the promises of all life's possibilities stands before me today...

A man with a head full of jet black hair, filled the promises of all life's possibilities.

The world sees a dapper, handsome, strapping being standing over six feet tall, and...

I see my sweet chubby ball of wonder, full of laughter and sweetness and an innocense beyond measure...

I see the one I had to sit in the kitchen floor with his breakfast and wait on him to crawl over to take a bite before moving on to his next momentary adventure...

The one I watched capture the hearts of everyone around him because to be near him, was to be entranced...

He was a man's man, even at the age of 3...

Sitting at his place at the breakfast bar, trying to drink coffee with his Uncle Paul, because "working men" drink coffee...

And making the most awful of all faces when it touched his lips, because, try as he might...

He just didn't have a taste for it.

I see the little boy asking his uncle in amazement, "Uncle Smitty, you're a real cowboy, aren't you?"

And, grinning from ear-to-ear when his uncle let him know that he lived in Texas, and all real cowboys come from Texas.

At one time, he was gonna "put on his light-up shoes and run all the way to Texas".

I see that little boy that worked so hard to keep up with his PawPaw, step for step...

Who, just today, slowed his steps down a bit so his PawPaw could keep up with him...

As he turned to his PawPaw and asked him if he'd be his special guest on Tuesday to watch him walk across the field and claim his diploma.

I see so much when I look at that child, but mostly what I see when I look at that boy is simple...

I see one of the two greatest gifts I have ever been given.

So, tomorrow, my boy ends but one phase of his journey...

And quickly begins another.

It is my hope that I have given him the tools he needs;

The faith that will be required to travel it;

And, the insight to know that life is 50% choices...

And, 50% chance...

And, the ability to know when to make the choice...

And, when to chance it.

Oh, baby boy, we've had a long walk through life...

We've run...

We've stumbled...

We've fallen...

And, each time, we've gotten back up and started all over again.

May your finishes always be as strong as your starts;

May you find success in your failures;

May you always know the grace of God;

May God always grant you His mercy;

May you always know the difference in the two.

Before you can fly, baby boy, you have to jump...

But, it is in the free fall where you will...

Find your wings.

13 comments:

  1. OMG Pam, you did it again! Loved seeing you today! Love and Kisses! Sharon

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  2. <3, Julie, but you already know you have my whole one...

    Sharon: Undisputable PROOF you've got a great cut: Walk into the room and have your 17 year old say, "Your hair looks REALLY good!" True story. It happened.

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  3. beautiful... as always.

    If he has even a percentage of your heart and soul, he'll do just fine.

    Congrats!

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  4. Much to his detriment, he is more like his mother than I would have ever hoped...

    Thanks, Chris.

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  5. Congratulations Camron. Congratulations Mama. He will do great things with strength and compassion, just as he was raised. The best thing we can teach our kids is that they dont have to be perfect to love and falling down from time to time means... youre trying versus failing to try.

    xo Camron- from your Yankee Fan up north.

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  6. Things are going to be tough for you for a little bit until you see that you have instilled in him the values he will need to survive on his own. Relax. Take a deep breath. He will be just fine. And so will you. Be strong!

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  7. I got, Daddy! I CAN do this, right?

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  8. You always bring your heart into what you write and this one is no different! You have given your love and advise and he certainly knows the blueprint of your love and where he has come from!

    Jane from Sw Ohio

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  9. This was beautiful Pam...you wrote the heart of a mother so pure. He sounds amazing. I love that he's so much like you...

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  10. Wow I love the way you have written this!! You sound like a great mother with a great son!1

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