Saturday, January 16, 2010
I'm Movin' On...
Since Monday, I've been keeping a secret.
Not so much because it's a secret, but more because...
Well, I'm a little embarrassed to say it.
Tomorrow, all I own will be packed in boxes or on trailers, and...
I'm moving.
Now, I aint' goin' far.
In fact, it's less than a half mile down the street.
Me, the Queen of Unpacking is...
Packing.
Seriously.
I hate this house I'm in.
I've hated it since the first box was laid on the floor.
I've HATED it.
Since July, I've been plagued by bad times.
Poor house is not to blame, but, well, it takes the blame...
For every dark day;
Dark cloud;
Dark month...
I blame this house.
On Monday, I just decided to see what was out there...
By end of business on Monday, I was the newest townhouse dweller on the bayou...
I've downsized...
I've traded the big back yard for a house with light and a feeling that I can move about.
As of Sunday night, I will call a new place "home".
I look around the present walls that confine me, and I see...
Darkness.
I remember back in July, still surrounded by boxes and the smell of cardboard that at 10 a.m...
I turned off all electronics, lit candles and sat in silence for one hour.
My body was here, but my heart was in Merrickville.
Over the next few weeks, I giggled as doors closed when they shouldn't have...
And a collection of spare change began to evolve on my driveway, carpets and patio without explanation.
And, with every giggle, I hurt.
I blame this house for that darkness.
It's not its fault, but I have to leave it for that reason.
I have to move on.
Surely, he goes with me when I leave for the last time.
He doesn't like this house...
He likes me, right?
Nearly six months ago, I sat right where I am at this second, and he and I had our last conversation.
"Why are you still awake when it's almost time for you to get up?"
As of tomorrow, I'm movin' on...
All the darkness.
All the sorrow.
All the doubt.
It leaves me tomorrow.
In its place, I will be surrounded by...
Light....
Comfort...
Understanding.
Him.
As of tomorrow, I am new again.
Thankfully, he needs no packing.
He just fits right there in my heart.
Wherever my heart is, there he is also.
Swiller, I love you.
Think you could help me lift this box?
Cause, buddy, you and me are moving on...
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So um...I'm really intrigued by the appearance of spare change all over the place.
ReplyDeleteI need some elaboration if I am to ever sleep a whole night again.
Sounds like you've made a fabulous decision. And you know me and my woo woo stuff - if you never liked that house, the energy wasn't right for you - and with all the pain you experienced while living there,you would probably never feel right in that house.
ReplyDeleteChange is good Pam ;) Your new place sounds just right - as the world's foremost fake psychic, I get a very good vibe.
The universe speaks to us all of the time...you just have to listen to your intuition...cause that's it talking. Why we don't pay attention sometimes is the fault of circumstance. You are listening now and it is going to be a great move for you. I can feel it. Good luck...one step at a time.....
ReplyDeleteGood on you. Take him to a brighter place. :)
ReplyDeleteI remember when I chose to move on. I am there for you. You were there when he chose to move on. I am so glad he had you all this time and that he could say good-bye to you. Moving on is just the ticket now my firend.
ReplyDeleteLove, Chica
I am so glad that you are proactively picking up the literal pieces of your life and moving forward.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the move a comfortable home is an important step. I don't envy the move though!
ReplyDelete