Baby of Mine...

It's no secret.

I've never been a perfect mother to the two beautiful souls that were entrusted to me.

I've been far from it.

In fact, I've always thought they deserved better.

So much of the story they don't know...

How their dad and I met...

How we married...

How we were best friends that simply...

Outgrew one another.

How we tried to hold it together because of the two beautiful lives we had created...

And, yes, created out of our love for one another.

In the end, we just couldn't make it work.

Try as we might, we just couldn't do it...

Leaving me, at the age of 30, with two children, a job that paid "x" amount of dollars on the first...

And "x" amount of dollars on the 15th.

They don't know how hard it was.

Sometimes, in the beginning, I literally had to choose between food or electricity...

Just so we could make it two more weeks...

Until the next payday.

Maybe I fooled myself.

Maybe they did know and the joke was on me.

Just don't know.

I always thought I did a good job at hiding the harsh realities of life from them.

My theory was that, all too soon, life would come in and teach them its cruel truth...

While they were on my watch...

NOTHING could touch them.

I may not have always been the best...

BUT...

I always DID my best.

Maybe not as great as someone else may have done...

But, it was my best effort.

All the while, knowing, they deserved better.

Maybe, in the end, my best simply wasn't good enough.

The one thing I do know...

That NO ONE could ever dispute...

Is that my precious cargo was LOVED.

My precious cargo was PROTECTED...

My precious cargo was REVERED...

I did my best.

I have loved to my greatest ability.

I offer my children back to the world as my gift.

I've taught them to give...

To love...

To forgive...

And, today, I no longer control them.

Please, world, be kind to my two...

They are...

Babies of mine.